Are You Limiting Yourself In This Way?
ByWe adopt ideas from our childhood, our families, and our friends about what kind of person we are. When other people tell us we are a “bad child” over and over, we often grow up believing that. The same is true when people say we are “smart” “difficult” “pretty” or “good at sports.”
We then believe that these ideas define us, and we limit our true potential because we close off to the infinite other possibilities that might bring us joy.
Now allow me to explain using a more personal example. For almost my entire life I grew up believing that I was not a “story writer.” Believe it or not, I actually flunked story writing assignments in school!
So when I saw my former wife Laura writing stories, I falsely believed that SHE was the story writer… not me. Based on my past, I didn’t think I was “good enough” at story writing to actually be a writer.
Can you imagine how limiting this way of thinking is?
If I had continued to believe that my past failures at story writing actually defined me, then I would not be writing this to you today. Now think about how this applies in your own life. If somebody were to ask, “Who are you?” What would you answer?
Would you answer, “I’m a story writer?”
If you’re even the slightest bit like I was, then that’s probably the last label you’d use to identify yourself!
Make no mistake about it though, the more you identify with any labels, the more you are limiting your personal growth.
It doesn’t matter if the label is “good” or “bad,” identifying with labels means that you are constantly missing opportunities to experience your greatest joy, happiness, and abundance that you deserve.
The contrast couldn’t be more vivid. On one hand you have the very few people who “get it.” They seem to be happy all the time even when things aren’t going well… and then there’s other people who seem to always be unhappy no matter how many good things happen in their life. Identifying with labels has the power to impact us that deeply.
Which one do you want to be?
Today I’d like to share with you an excerpt from my program “Inscribe Your Life®” Although it is brief, I think this really gets to the heart of the matter and shows why anybody, including you, can write stories and experience significant personal transformation.
After you finish reading, remember to leave a comment!
Begin Excerpt From Inscribe Your Life®
We often choose the story format because it’s both easier for many people to relate to and because the short format allows us to keep a reader’s attention long enough to communicate the messages we are trying to convey.
For those of us drawn to a spiritual path, the question “Why?” is likely to be very prevalent in our lives. Sometimes we may be questioning why we engage in a specific behavior, maybe we are asking why certain patterns emerge in our lives or why specific things happened, perhaps we are wondering why certain things haven’t happened, or just why we exist.
Regardless of what we are inquiring about, the question of “Why?”
also applies to stories. Alan Dolit sums it up best when he says to
ask yourself these two questions:
What is it for?
Why do I want to do this instead of doing something else?
Different motives for writing can produce entirely different stories. The primary motive for most writers I have interviewed is to share wisdom with others in hope of shortening their spiritual evolutionary path. Sometimes, we write in hopes of inspiring other people. However, contrary to popular belief, not all stories are meant to be read. Yes, you read that correctly, and it is important enough to write again:
Not all stories are meant to be read.
How can that be, you ask? Sometimes a story is like a journal. We might write it as our own internal monologue to help us work through issues we may have, or we might write to help explore other facets of our personality… or even our experience of reality as we see it.
More often than not, writing stories is about a little bit (or a lot) of all of the above. Rarely is it one or the other, but rather, it is an expression of our holistic self connecting both with ourself and others. It allows those of us who have never considered ourselves to be “writers” to find great enjoyment and meaning in writing our own stories.
Understanding the more personal elements of writing enables us to get past some of the fears and roadblocks we might have about being a “good” writer or a “bad” one, or whether our audience will enjoy the story or not.
Questions? Comments? Thoughts?
Inscribe Your Life® is an online digital multi-media, step-by-step system that teaches you how to use the art of story writing for personal transformation.
It helps you effortlessly tap into your creative source, transform conflict into empowerment, and overcome doubts and fears.


47 Comments
May 10th, 2010 at 5:09 am
Thank you for this info, suddenly everything had another meaning.
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May 10th, 2010 at 7:52 am
quite often i am able to work through complex problems by taking time to write out my thoughts, and i suppose its like writing my story. the story is not necessarily to be read.
in leading teams i find it easier to put across my thoughts usually after taking time to just jot my thoughts or thinking pattern, it seems to give me clarity and confidnce.
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May 10th, 2010 at 11:08 am
I am always being surprized by life, I got up this morning thinking of the things Im good at and one of them was telling stories and I click in this story about stories
very cool
John
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May 11th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Yes I know what you mean -I’ve done a lot of writing just to clarify my own mind – but sometimes I think these days I would do better to let the dark silent place to take over – I seem plagued by my desires whatever they might be – for material things or for states of mind – I guess I would like silence to enfold me – but the chatter of goals and thrusting forward sits in me like the snarl of a racing car at the curb – which I can’t seem to turn off – it reminds me of riding The Long Island Railroad back and forth – back and forth to the city and not being able to close my eyes to the advertisements at the entrances to the cars – all these “things” that I want – all these “states” that I desire seem futile and irrelevant now – the first flush of belief is gone I guess and I can’t find the next space – the next stage – the next plateau?
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May 12th, 2010 at 2:19 am
I agree with you about ‘not all stories are meant to be read’.
Sometimes a story, or fragment, will circle in the mind for ages – until it is written down.
The act of writing seems to ‘tell’ both body and mind that attention has been paid. The mental log-jam releases and changes can begin or continue. Or the next part of the story arrives…:-)))
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Maureen Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 9:58 am
@Andrea,
yes, i’ve experienced this many times, following an inner voice when i’m in certain states of of focus or close to an experience that’s moved me. Once the words are placed, they seem to take on a life of their own often surprising, strangely satisfying familiar and revealing, an intimacy with some part of Myself.
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May 12th, 2010 at 7:02 am
it is nice to read it but how can i persist on believing that i can write. i want to write but there is me inside that says you can’t or u r not enough to write.
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Jack Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 10:12 am
@libanos wondewosen,
You can start by realizing that everyone, when trying to do something for the first time – starts at the same place. They “decide” to try doing that something, and then do it for the first time. And secondly, the idea espoused by Chris Cade in this blog, is excellent advice. By writing to yourself for awhile, you are able to do your writing without feeling that others may be judging your writing. When you have done enough writing to yourself to feel comfortable with your capabilities, you will then know it is time to do “public” writing, and can start doing that. Don’t give up on yourself; simply start writing to yourself, and write as often as it feels right. It will take a little time to feel like a “writer”, but thats true of anything for anyone, when it’s new. If it feels right, write your first piece to yourself today. Write about how it feels good to be writing, and how you know that it will take awhile to feel comfortable about “being” a writer, but that you are going to continue to write and fully expect to become comfortable in a fairly short period of time, with “being” a writer. Add whatever else comes to mind, and you have just written your first piece to yourself. Continue on enjoying the feeling of “being” a writer, and in no time flat – you will truly consider yourself to “be” a writer. From there it’s onward and upward to writing for hire as an author, artice writer, freelancer, the options are too numerous to mention here. Now go write that first piece to yourself.
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Raymond Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 1:02 pm
@Jack,
Great,sound advise.You sound like an experienced mentor.It encourages more than the one you targeted.
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Jack Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:44 am
@Raymond, Glad to hear that my advice found a home with someone. Here is something to pay attention to: I am not
(in the professional sense)a mentor at all, but rather obviously, I decided that I was able (or wanted to “be”), someone who gave advice on this particular subject.
I “decided” that I had something to contribute, and did so. I am not in any sense of the word, a “writer”; unless I “decide” to “be” a writer. Time for all of us to decide to do the things we have not been doing in our lives.
May 31st, 2010 at 3:13 am
Thank you, writing for me is not about whether or not someone will read it and then tell me I’ve achieved a ‘right or wrong’ – it’s about purpose – the use of the creative process in order to serve others. It’s like the old saying “If God wanted you to smoke, she would have made you with a chimney” – “If God wanted you to write then she would have given you ‘thought, words, creative passion’ – OH She Did!!” So Write Without expectation of being read, Write as if no one will judge you, Write just for FUN, one day someone will read it and one day someone will relate to it and one day it will all make sense…love it!!
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May 31st, 2010 at 4:31 am
hi
I just read this website and I found myself the same way every thing goes back when your upbringing always in negative thinking. Now that Ilike writeing for myself some edeas vanished. Can you please help in some ways. thanks and keep it up for teaching us.
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May 31st, 2010 at 6:07 am
I’m understanding that we are good inward “story writers” in that they have the power of limiting our greater possibility. We can learn to rewrite stories to get particular areas of our lives but how do we access the power within us that transforms completely?
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May 31st, 2010 at 7:24 am
I have always written to get my thoughts, my emotions and my feelings of situations, off my chest. I sleep with a notepad next to my bed as I sometimes have an over active mind, but dont want to looe the thoughts. ( funnily I also sleep a lot better once Ive written them down).
I have a problem with speaking about my emotions and for a few months now have started opening up to my loved ones and friends. The saying that a problem shared is a problem halved I now find to be so true. I have been told many negative things and one of which was that writting was NOT MY STRONGEST POINT.
I started my own blog page about things I was feeling, issues people were talking to me about and topics we all seemed to be going through at the same time, and we are all in out 40’s.
I am so glad i did it. I have not only had enormous feedback from friends and “anonymous’ contributors, but I am constantly getting compliments on how well I put my thoughts on paper. In fact one compliment was that I was en excellent journalist!
The negativity has never stopped me from doing what I wanted because it is what I WANT TO DO. Its just nice getting these compliment as it does encourage me to continue, and its in a positive light!
To all of those out there with a doubt my only answer to that is DONT DOUBT YOURSELF! You are the answer to your life and no “label” nor negative report should stop you from getting where you want to!
we all need to step out of our comfort zone at times, but it makes us grow!
Keep writting…… Keep growing!
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May 31st, 2010 at 7:43 am
I have not read the previous publications. Why? I was letting the system I work for, write my story. It is now summer break so I flipped back to the Power of Story and it is awesome, simple, eyeopening and a call to be the Co-creator and not the victim
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May 31st, 2010 at 8:17 am
I find it interesting.I grow thinking like these and i also have a behavior of like these.But i wanna to have my own thinking.
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May 31st, 2010 at 8:47 am
Oh yes I do agree that all stories are not meant to be read, but I do believe they are to be written, often when I write in my jourmal I am able to find and/or build a story from that, and you know what!!! I can I write that story more to my liking. I do not share my journal with any one it is my way of finding peace and understanding and I can share that in a ‘Story”. I thank you for all the encouragement. I would never have thought that I could write a story. Now I think;
” I am a story”
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May 31st, 2010 at 9:35 am
Hello Chris,
First of all I want to thank you for sharing all that you do! I am learning lots from you about me. No therapist involved
I have a life coach and she has asked to to journal or write different things. I do it for a few days then stop. I have been following you for a couple of months now and today this short note resonated with me.
I can see how writing a story with say a goal I might have can help in the planning stage and also to visualize the end result. The more I think about it the more I like the idea of using a story to get the things I want out of life! I’ll let you know what happens.
Again Chris thank you so much for all you give!
Colleen
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May 31st, 2010 at 10:25 am
Chris,
What wonderful advice. I’m just starting to imagine who I want to be, and what I want to accomplish in the second half of my life (I’m 55); and for someone about to do what I’m going to attempt, your advice is right on the money. Realizing how we have been (as a society in general), programmed to have an extremely limited mindset about who we are, and what we can do is a very good place to start towards having the desire to change how we think about ourselves, and start thinking that we are capable of doing pretty much anything we want to do. At this point in my life, I do feel that way, and am looking forward to finding a mastermind group to help with my transformation. But your article asking if we are “limiting ourselves”, is an excellent starting point, and I thank you for publishing it on your blog.
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Raymond Reply:
May 31st, 2010 at 1:09 pm
@Jack, One of the best ways I’ve found to help me fiqure-out who I really am or who I was supposed to be is to go back to my childhood dreams. This dreams of youth will have been with you all your life and where supressed by up-bringing,education,peers interferring with your reason for being. Your childhood dreams are the key to where you have been limiting your self.
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May 31st, 2010 at 11:40 am
I would have to agree with Chris on this. Some of the best stories I have written have been for myself. Too many people get hung up on the idea that everything has to be like we were taught in school, but many times you have to move past that to write a story. If it doesn’t work for you when you read it, it won’t work for anyone else. We can all be writers for ourselves though. Writing is an outer expression of our inner feelings sometimes and maybe thats what you should strive for, instead of being concerned about whether or not any one else will like it.
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May 31st, 2010 at 11:48 am
This is a fantastic suggestion. I can see it cutting short the long often tedious process of clearing your mind. When we need to journal we dont want to go into the stressful feelings very often. This tool will help bring just the right amount of detachment and clarity. I am off to try my hand at it !
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June 1st, 2010 at 3:58 am
“Not all stories are meant to be read”.
Thank you for this encouragement because I have written so many of these stories and now I will write even more.
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June 1st, 2010 at 4:03 am
Ilove it .It’s so good. ‘its time for change’.
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June 1st, 2010 at 5:40 am
It is a sound good advise. I start to think what i want. I believe you
that you can inscribe. could i ask you something? please tell me
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June 1st, 2010 at 6:33 am
It all makes sense now…….Its like I have just woken up.
Thank you!
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June 2nd, 2010 at 2:24 am
thank you chris, this is an excellent idea. i have not tried writting stories, i used to feel i cannot do it. but after reading your encouragements, i am motivated. i will start putting my thoughts into witting. once again thank you
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June 3rd, 2010 at 3:21 am
I agree writing our story puts out to the world our point of view about something. The interesting thing is we always write it badly the first time. The reason is, we are still learning about that subject our self, and the only way we can learn anything is from the mistakes we make. So I find it better to laugh at my self, not tell my self off as that keep the gremlins out of my body like: I’m no good enough, or I will never get it right etc.
We are here on earth to create our experiences with love and none of us came down here as experts in doing anything, so do the best you can, laugh at your mis-takes, then learn form your mistake how to do it better next time.
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June 3rd, 2010 at 3:31 am
I agree with you Dear Chris.
May be my story will help someone.
My friends call me as “Positive Anthony.”
I am a Physically Challenged.
Paralyzed & senseless below my chest.
Percentage of Disability is 90 %(According to the doctor’s certificate.)
I am Residing at Chennai/Tamilnadu/India at the mercy of my elder sister.
I do not have the sense to pass Urine & Toilet.
Someone has to press my Stomach to pass Urine.
My Sister, has to dig out Toilet manually. She is a living God for me.
Instead of grieving for what i have lost, I realize for what I have left very precious in my life
I Thank God for giving me 2 hands & a Brain to work and earn myself.
Though I can sit only with the support of my Right hand, & able to Type only with the Left hand with difficult, I am doing a work through online & earning for my own bread.
You can see me in a short video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVMYfepBR1g
You can read all about me here: http://anthony.azhagi.com
You can read all about me here: Visit my Blogsites if you like: http://mindpower2008.blogspot.com
May the Almighty universal Power Bless all.
With Tons Of Love & Gratitude
+VE Anthony Muthu
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June 3rd, 2010 at 7:21 am
Hello Chris,
Thanks for this wonderful suggestion.This has really broaden my mind.I appreciate you and your thoughts for helping many people all over the world.Thanks once again.God Bless.
with love,
Anima
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June 3rd, 2010 at 10:30 am
THIS IS NICE, INFACT IT IS INTRESTING MAY God grant you more knowlege
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June 4th, 2010 at 1:21 am
Thank you for the advice… the blog…
I never considered myself a writer, but this is very inspiring…
I’ve always had issues with inner emotions and letting them out…
It’s alway’s been locked inside and caused so much stress I would get sick from it. But the reassurance offered here:
“I am a story.” It’s unchangable but also true. I’m very glad that you started writing at all and changed people’s lives for the better as well as your own…
Thank you…
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June 4th, 2010 at 6:13 am
Cris!im very happy to hear that you there.im 28 years old man who seek for everlasting journey through difficulties,i been moving updown from place to another look for help that atleast uplift my life.seeking glories,powerful advice,prayers which will atleast rest me in peace since,then i made a decisions towards my waiting time which i poured aways.i feel deeply bad spiritual in my life,life that never uplift me somewhere where i will be happy man on earth,sometime it force me devils my life thinking too much.im totally confused where to go and why should i go if problem part of life,but mine take me deeper and worse.i working having 3 brothers who don’t work,one son and a daugher.MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS
THANKS.
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June 11th, 2010 at 1:21 am
Thank you for the sharing. This reminds me of a story about a little girl.
She was diagnosed by the doctor that she was mentally disabled when she was young. The father said :”No, my chld. You are not.” The girl believed her father and follow her father’s guidance to read and do things. She completed her university and is working as a professional now. She said:” Label can ruin a person. Luckily I chose to listen to my father’s opinion……”
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June 25th, 2010 at 4:30 am
I agree with u that all books r not meant to be read.i av always tot of writing a book on my personal experiences,i always av snippets in journals,diaries but never get around writing the book.Hope i will get round it some day.
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June 25th, 2010 at 8:19 am
Thanks for the life changing ministry.It’s very educacative and inspiring.It really has a way of changing ones life. Every event in life is a passing phase. We are undergoing a transition.It really helps to find direction out of indirection. Some of the problems we passed through in life must have been experienced by others or something similar or total different must have have happened to them. What we are concerned with is the cure. A way out of that problem. We become reference point by showing and teaching people how to find a way out of every problem.
Thanks for sharing with me.
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July 21st, 2010 at 3:10 am
Dear Sir,
Thanks for your writing.
I am not a good writer.
Best regards
Peter Aung
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August 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm
thanks for your story .like it
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August 6th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Hi Chris, thank you for your post, and all the previous ones. You are really inspiring all of us. As a child I wrote stories and some of them were even published on the school board. But if you don’t use it your lose it, and this happened to me. Now I decided to try it again. Of course, they are not meant to be read, but I’ll put pen onto paper and see what happens. Thank you for your inspiration.
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August 25th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
hi,
i think belief system software pacage installed in our brain hardware
based on the software our computer works:)
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August 26th, 2010 at 12:13 am
Hi Chris!
Your message is a very powerful one for many people. The not good enoughs, the you are best ats usually affect everyone at some point. It may not be writing. It could be public speaking, english, being told you are too emotional or not emotional at all or even being told that you are not a strong person.
Most of us need to work on our limiting beliefs at one time or another in our lives to move forward. It doesn’t matter if we help others professionally or not. For that matter, many “helpers” are only half a step ahead of those they are helping. Imagine what the world would be like without those helpers…if they let the limitations stop them from helping others!
Thank you for your words of wisdom and the help you provide to others.
Blessings,
Janet
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Chris Cade Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 12:46 am
@Janet,
So true ~ in fact, that’s a core principle of the Inscribe Your Life program… that whatever experiences we go through in writing are the same experiences we go through in life.
Therefore, when we can tackle them through a safe outlet like writing, we gain the experience to also overcome them in other aspects of your life.
As for the helpers… indeed, were it not for those helping each of us a half step ahead, the world would be a much sadder place.
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September 1st, 2010 at 3:58 pm
u haveopened a new window in my life. thank God For the gift of transforming His people to what He meant us to be.
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September 7th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Hello Everyone!
Just thought I would throw this out there for Jack. You say you’re not a mentor/coach. Funny, you just mentored someone, doesn’t that make you a mentor? Whether you carry the title from someplace of authority or not, you’ve still mentored someone and that someone was most appreciative for the help.
Also, my personal experience over my years is that sometimes you just need to write stuff down. When I’ve had issues with others in my life and I just wanted to vent about it, I sometimes have written them a letter. I call them the ‘letters I never mean to send’. It helps me get things off my chest and the irritation, anxiety, anger, sadness, grief, etc. just disappears. It’s great therapy.
Love & Blessings,
PJ
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Chris Cade Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
@PJ,
Thanks for sharing, PJ. And nice point about the mentor label. While it’s true we may not identify with being a mentor… well, we can associate with a label WHEN we are doing the action that’s aligned with it.
Labels are very helpful as general descriptors of an experience, so long as we don’t take them so seriously that we identify with the label and then act in accordance with the label ~ even when it’s not appropriate nor necessary.
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September 7th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
It seems pretty easy to tell someone else what to do how to go about getting or being whatever they want to me!
Then I look at it for myself an all I see is crapp,I would no doubt buy for instance your program an never even look it over because I already know how complicated anything gets an also the chances of finding something you just can’t get enough of are fairly niel if ya ask me!
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Chris Cade Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
@Christopher,
I know what you mean. I have several programs myself, and have used very few of them.
Fortunately, the ones I use really do help me ~ because I choose to stick to a program to find it’s golden nuggets and apply them before I go to the next program.
So many people keep buying program after program, hoping “This one will be different” without really immersing themselves in a single system to get its riches and treasures -before- they go to another system to repeat that process.
It’s the “Quick Fix” mentality that we all have, and it takes a lot of persistence and experience to re-wire our brains to just stick to something for the gold.
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